I figured it out. Why I'm so obsessed with English Gentleman. Why I'm sad that I like him.
He was the last person to give me a hug.
I need a hug. People need human contact. Physical contact. It is the only way to live.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
Cheese and Other Exciting Prospects
Ah! I love cheese. And I'm allowed to love it as much as I want because I go to the gym on a regular basis and I walk a lot.
English Gentleman is back in the flirting boat, finally. He's usually too cool for school, but he payed me a few pretty freaking sweet compliments.
"Tonight would be a good night for you to be here, you could play my guitar and sing and I could admire your curves whilst pretending to sing. Everything I know about you is classy and theatrical, I like it."
Me? Classy? Theatrical, yes, curvy, bien sur, but classy? Sweeeet.
Yikes. Oh how I love facebook but...people from grade school are now adding me. Why? Why is this happening? I don't know if any of you bloggers know this stuff about me, but I was really unpopular in grade school. I got made fun of, a lot. I try to repress, but really, it comes out all the time. I'm always worried that people are gonna find me out and categorise me as uncool. I have to sit at the back of any bus I go on because that's where the cool kids sit. I'm really insecure about it and if I never heard from or of anyone from elementary school again, I'd be extremely happy. Now EVERYONE is my "friend."
And I guess it was fine when it was people who were actually considered friends back then, we were pretty much in it together, us verses the "popular group." And they always said I was so cool, I shouldn't be with them, but I said I only hang around with nice people.
But now, the dreaded Miss Perfect added me. Miss Perfect was my "best friend in school" in grade one and then in grade 2 they put us in different classes and she became popular and I did not. Do the secretaries who made the class lists that year know that they ruined my life? Miss Perfect is not special. She's boring, to me. She's blonde, rich, pretty, nice, kinda smart, sporty, friendly, not funny, not interesting and enjoys country music. But everyone loved her. LOVED and IDOLISED. Once, I got bangs, and this guy said "but Miss Perfect doesn't have bangs anymore, why'd you get bangs?" Seriously. We were all supposed to copy her as much as we could.
I can't handle this. Why did she add me? To show off? I mean, her life seems as boring as it always was, but in a really perfect way. Why do I feel I need to be better than her? What is it about her that makes everyone crazy and why do I need validation? I'm a grown up! I have SO MANY FRIENDS who I love so so so much and who love me! I'm on a year long adventure. I found my true love and he's hotter than hers! Why am I so petty? She was never mean, not once. And she's pretty humble about her popularity. (Or was, I don't know anything about her now except for the discriptions on facebook.) I was worried she was gonna be an actress because she did a funny accent in grade 8 drama club and everyone laughed really hard. I was Lois Lane and I was great! Now I can do any accent! Name it, I'll do it better than her! BUT WHY DO I HAVE TO BE BETTER THAN HER? WHY DO I CARE? She's not in my life, and we don't have any friends in common! Why am I like this? I even started to change my profile, to make sure it was presentable. I'm presentable as I am, I like me!
I can't wait for HP7 to come out.
English Gentleman is back in the flirting boat, finally. He's usually too cool for school, but he payed me a few pretty freaking sweet compliments.
"Tonight would be a good night for you to be here, you could play my guitar and sing and I could admire your curves whilst pretending to sing. Everything I know about you is classy and theatrical, I like it."
Me? Classy? Theatrical, yes, curvy, bien sur, but classy? Sweeeet.
Yikes. Oh how I love facebook but...people from grade school are now adding me. Why? Why is this happening? I don't know if any of you bloggers know this stuff about me, but I was really unpopular in grade school. I got made fun of, a lot. I try to repress, but really, it comes out all the time. I'm always worried that people are gonna find me out and categorise me as uncool. I have to sit at the back of any bus I go on because that's where the cool kids sit. I'm really insecure about it and if I never heard from or of anyone from elementary school again, I'd be extremely happy. Now EVERYONE is my "friend."
And I guess it was fine when it was people who were actually considered friends back then, we were pretty much in it together, us verses the "popular group." And they always said I was so cool, I shouldn't be with them, but I said I only hang around with nice people.
But now, the dreaded Miss Perfect added me. Miss Perfect was my "best friend in school" in grade one and then in grade 2 they put us in different classes and she became popular and I did not. Do the secretaries who made the class lists that year know that they ruined my life? Miss Perfect is not special. She's boring, to me. She's blonde, rich, pretty, nice, kinda smart, sporty, friendly, not funny, not interesting and enjoys country music. But everyone loved her. LOVED and IDOLISED. Once, I got bangs, and this guy said "but Miss Perfect doesn't have bangs anymore, why'd you get bangs?" Seriously. We were all supposed to copy her as much as we could.
I can't handle this. Why did she add me? To show off? I mean, her life seems as boring as it always was, but in a really perfect way. Why do I feel I need to be better than her? What is it about her that makes everyone crazy and why do I need validation? I'm a grown up! I have SO MANY FRIENDS who I love so so so much and who love me! I'm on a year long adventure. I found my true love and he's hotter than hers! Why am I so petty? She was never mean, not once. And she's pretty humble about her popularity. (Or was, I don't know anything about her now except for the discriptions on facebook.) I was worried she was gonna be an actress because she did a funny accent in grade 8 drama club and everyone laughed really hard. I was Lois Lane and I was great! Now I can do any accent! Name it, I'll do it better than her! BUT WHY DO I HAVE TO BE BETTER THAN HER? WHY DO I CARE? She's not in my life, and we don't have any friends in common! Why am I like this? I even started to change my profile, to make sure it was presentable. I'm presentable as I am, I like me!
I can't wait for HP7 to come out.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
right before left over pizza
I'm sick. I have a cold. I can't breathe through my nose. But i told my swiss family that i was going on a random adventure in a city nearby, and they were so excited for me that i couldn't not go. the dad even paid for my train ticket. that made me feel bad, but i like saving money...
i thought i looked good. i totally jumped on the sweater and blazer over winter coat bandwagon and so i thought i was pretty chic. my blazer is dark purple, my hair has a hint of purple, my scarf is bright magenta my tights are purple and my gloves are bright purple and black striped. my sweater underneath was a nice shade of green and my capris were brown. i don't like brown, but they look good on my ass. so i liked my getup. but right at the beginning, i realised i only had one glove. i thought i had both with me, in fact i knew i did and i couldn't figure out if i dropped one in the family's car on the way to the station, or after. i really liked the gloves in the mix because my mom bought them for me and i thought they were nerdy, but then i grew to love and appreciate them. and it was fucking freezing.
i'll tell ya right now, i did not have a good time. i'm sick! I went to mcdonalds, which is always good, but never good. some part of me appreciated the total coolness of the city, it was really beautiful and interesting and the layout, i'm pretty sure, was designed by a drunk spider. but i didn't want to talk to anyone when i had a runny nose. so i went from cafe to cafe reading the picture of dorian gray. i really like the book though i feel left out because when they talk about their theories, they're saying "people" and "one" but they mean "men" which is really annoying. why wouldn't you make your audience everyone possible? or at least everyone interested? don't cut people off, it's like beer commercials, not one of them is aimed at women when women totally buy beer! i digress. shit time, I saw stranger than fiction in french, and i HATE dubbing. i refuse to watch any movie with dubbed voices. ORIGINAL PLEASE and subtitle it up. can't you read, swiss people?
cold hands, runny nose, itchy eyes, sore throat, i was talking to myself out loud "where the fuck is the train station? the guy said "cinq cent metres" that way, how the hell would i know cinq cent m--" i suddenly looked up and saw orion, the constellation, clear as day. and i was cheerful. how can that be? I was actually giddy, just because i could see orion, and he was upright, and he just jumped out at me...I didn't understand my joy, which made it funnier. anyway, i found the train station, wrote a lot and read a lot the whole way back. when i finally got up the escalater and started to head towards my street, low and behold, a bright purple and black striped glove was just lying on the sidewalk, untouched, waiting for me.
i thought i looked good. i totally jumped on the sweater and blazer over winter coat bandwagon and so i thought i was pretty chic. my blazer is dark purple, my hair has a hint of purple, my scarf is bright magenta my tights are purple and my gloves are bright purple and black striped. my sweater underneath was a nice shade of green and my capris were brown. i don't like brown, but they look good on my ass. so i liked my getup. but right at the beginning, i realised i only had one glove. i thought i had both with me, in fact i knew i did and i couldn't figure out if i dropped one in the family's car on the way to the station, or after. i really liked the gloves in the mix because my mom bought them for me and i thought they were nerdy, but then i grew to love and appreciate them. and it was fucking freezing.
i'll tell ya right now, i did not have a good time. i'm sick! I went to mcdonalds, which is always good, but never good. some part of me appreciated the total coolness of the city, it was really beautiful and interesting and the layout, i'm pretty sure, was designed by a drunk spider. but i didn't want to talk to anyone when i had a runny nose. so i went from cafe to cafe reading the picture of dorian gray. i really like the book though i feel left out because when they talk about their theories, they're saying "people" and "one" but they mean "men" which is really annoying. why wouldn't you make your audience everyone possible? or at least everyone interested? don't cut people off, it's like beer commercials, not one of them is aimed at women when women totally buy beer! i digress. shit time, I saw stranger than fiction in french, and i HATE dubbing. i refuse to watch any movie with dubbed voices. ORIGINAL PLEASE and subtitle it up. can't you read, swiss people?
cold hands, runny nose, itchy eyes, sore throat, i was talking to myself out loud "where the fuck is the train station? the guy said "cinq cent metres" that way, how the hell would i know cinq cent m--" i suddenly looked up and saw orion, the constellation, clear as day. and i was cheerful. how can that be? I was actually giddy, just because i could see orion, and he was upright, and he just jumped out at me...I didn't understand my joy, which made it funnier. anyway, i found the train station, wrote a lot and read a lot the whole way back. when i finally got up the escalater and started to head towards my street, low and behold, a bright purple and black striped glove was just lying on the sidewalk, untouched, waiting for me.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
NOT FAIR!
I'll never find a lovah as good as my lovah. He's the best and he's my ultimate favourite person to spend time with, eat with, sleep with, sex it up with, watch south park with, talk with. But he's not here.
I'll never find friends as good as my friends. But they're not here!
I'll never have a one night stand as good as last week's one night stand. But it's over!
So what am I doing here? Please remind me because I'm sure there's a reason.
And it isn't so that I could get hit on by creepy french guys who lick my face when they've bought me too many vodka OJs.
...or is it?
I'll never find friends as good as my friends. But they're not here!
I'll never have a one night stand as good as last week's one night stand. But it's over!
So what am I doing here? Please remind me because I'm sure there's a reason.
And it isn't so that I could get hit on by creepy french guys who lick my face when they've bought me too many vodka OJs.
...or is it?
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Last Night's Drunken Haikus
I am courageous
Now that I'm super wasted
In this bar in Sion.
I can write alone
And hope that someone comes up
To talk to me soon.
I now have a date
With a twenty year old boy
Next Samdi at eight.
I dream of Gavin
And the perfect friday night
We had at Kaos.
Roxanne plus quad vod
Equals good times had by all
Ending in great sex.
My jealous lovah
Can just lick me where I bleed twice.
I need fantasies.
My poor stomach hurts
Because I just had raclette
And these drinks are cold.
I just can't believe
I'm at a bar in Europe
Haikuing alone
This DJ is lame.
Is he playing Dancing Queen?
I want to punch him.
Why do I fall for
Skinny little bartenders?
He is glad I tipped.
I cannot go home
Until it is twelve thirty.
Otherwise I'm lame
Already, I'm lame
Because I'm sitting alone
Writing in a bar.
Why am I writing
Drunken Haikus in a bar?
Surprise, it's easy.
I love being drunk.
This is just what I wanted.
I dream you are here.
"You" can be either
My Lovah or Englishman.
I'll take either one.
I talk to Lovah
By phone every single night.
I never see him.
My hot English Fling
Was over far too quickly.
Wish it was last week.
I like being drunk;
Nothing matters anymore.
That is comforting.
One guy looks at me
Then another and one more.
What is it with Sion?
No one comes to talk?
I am a young hot woman!
COME AND TALK TO ME!
They welcome me here
But they are not welcoming.
They make me so sad.
Billy Jean is on.
How come no one is dancing?
There is no dance floor.
So so so so drunk.
I like it this way baby!
An excuse to smile.
And now I'm dancing
With the funny bartenders
One of which is cute.
The nicest one said
"Karaoke est sympa!
Merci, a dimanche!"
Now that I'm super wasted
In this bar in Sion.
I can write alone
And hope that someone comes up
To talk to me soon.
I now have a date
With a twenty year old boy
Next Samdi at eight.
I dream of Gavin
And the perfect friday night
We had at Kaos.
Roxanne plus quad vod
Equals good times had by all
Ending in great sex.
My jealous lovah
Can just lick me where I bleed twice.
I need fantasies.
My poor stomach hurts
Because I just had raclette
And these drinks are cold.
I just can't believe
I'm at a bar in Europe
Haikuing alone
This DJ is lame.
Is he playing Dancing Queen?
I want to punch him.
Why do I fall for
Skinny little bartenders?
He is glad I tipped.
I cannot go home
Until it is twelve thirty.
Otherwise I'm lame
Already, I'm lame
Because I'm sitting alone
Writing in a bar.
Why am I writing
Drunken Haikus in a bar?
Surprise, it's easy.
I love being drunk.
This is just what I wanted.
I dream you are here.
"You" can be either
My Lovah or Englishman.
I'll take either one.
I talk to Lovah
By phone every single night.
I never see him.
My hot English Fling
Was over far too quickly.
Wish it was last week.
I like being drunk;
Nothing matters anymore.
That is comforting.
One guy looks at me
Then another and one more.
What is it with Sion?
No one comes to talk?
I am a young hot woman!
COME AND TALK TO ME!
They welcome me here
But they are not welcoming.
They make me so sad.
Billy Jean is on.
How come no one is dancing?
There is no dance floor.
So so so so drunk.
I like it this way baby!
An excuse to smile.
And now I'm dancing
With the funny bartenders
One of which is cute.
The nicest one said
"Karaoke est sympa!
Merci, a dimanche!"
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Mood Swinger
Dude, what is going on in my life?
okay, so I don't think most of you get the degree to which my lovah freaked out about what he read. He freaked out. So then he declared his undying love for me, which is great. But now I'm so confused! I feel like I'm getting something I thought I already had. And now I'm angry that I didn't have it til now. That's a stupid thing to be angry about.
By the by, there is no way I'm going to explain this properly. The point is, I have no idea how I'm feeling. up and down and up and down my mood goes.
I'll just write stuff as it comes to me.
I am probably going to Zurich this Saturday with 2 other Au Pairs I found on facebook. Facebook, I love you.
Englishman has been facebook messaging me, flirting is awesome. But he always plays it super cool, and I'm a gushy nerd. So in trying to play it cool too, we're like not flirting. We're just having a conversation. Anyway, I gave him the cold shoulder for 2 days (as long as I could!) and he wrote "Really wanna hear you sing madam. X" (The x means kiss as in xoxo.) And I wrote "What would you have me sing, sir?" and he wrote "The song that you sang to me, or perhaps the yeah yeah yeahs (great band if you havent heard them) - Iwouldnt be picky beoynd that one song" and...dammit! I meant to get advice before I responded. oh, here's what I wrote "I don't know what to say, I can't help you. If you wanna hear me sing a dirty song with my friend Kate, go to www.myspace.com/themermaidsrocksso far, we're our own biggest fans..." Dude, that's so boring. oh man!
Oh well.
I can't even fantasize about him anymore because then I feel guilty so it doesn't matter anyway. Except that it's something to do...And that he's HOT!
I have a headache but I had a great time at the gym. The dad here is being mean! No smiles, no "Ca va, ma chere Claire?" I think...I hope he's mad at the mom, otherwise he's mad at me. Or sick. I hope he's not mad at me!
Anyway, I wanna get laid too, Neenia. I hate being detatched from what I know and love. Need to know and love new things...new hotties.
My legs are fucking killing me. Yes gym!
I might have to not go on the computer for all next week. It'll be difficult, worse than a diet. But I'm gonna try. Starting Monday.
Hahahaha! I'm roping Neenia into the Facebook phenomenon. It's like world of warcraft for...other people. People who are kidding themselves by thinking they escaped the addiction of world of warcraft.
I'm newly hooked on a site called www.peekvid.com which rocks my world. Check it out when bored.
Wanna have sex.
I love love love wastes of time.
okay, so I don't think most of you get the degree to which my lovah freaked out about what he read. He freaked out. So then he declared his undying love for me, which is great. But now I'm so confused! I feel like I'm getting something I thought I already had. And now I'm angry that I didn't have it til now. That's a stupid thing to be angry about.
By the by, there is no way I'm going to explain this properly. The point is, I have no idea how I'm feeling. up and down and up and down my mood goes.
I'll just write stuff as it comes to me.
I am probably going to Zurich this Saturday with 2 other Au Pairs I found on facebook. Facebook, I love you.
Englishman has been facebook messaging me, flirting is awesome. But he always plays it super cool, and I'm a gushy nerd. So in trying to play it cool too, we're like not flirting. We're just having a conversation. Anyway, I gave him the cold shoulder for 2 days (as long as I could!) and he wrote "Really wanna hear you sing madam. X" (The x means kiss as in xoxo.) And I wrote "What would you have me sing, sir?" and he wrote "The song that you sang to me, or perhaps the yeah yeah yeahs (great band if you havent heard them) - Iwouldnt be picky beoynd that one song" and...dammit! I meant to get advice before I responded. oh, here's what I wrote "I don't know what to say, I can't help you. If you wanna hear me sing a dirty song with my friend Kate, go to www.myspace.com/themermaidsrocksso far, we're our own biggest fans..." Dude, that's so boring. oh man!
Oh well.
I can't even fantasize about him anymore because then I feel guilty so it doesn't matter anyway. Except that it's something to do...And that he's HOT!
I have a headache but I had a great time at the gym. The dad here is being mean! No smiles, no "Ca va, ma chere Claire?" I think...I hope he's mad at the mom, otherwise he's mad at me. Or sick. I hope he's not mad at me!
Anyway, I wanna get laid too, Neenia. I hate being detatched from what I know and love. Need to know and love new things...new hotties.
My legs are fucking killing me. Yes gym!
I might have to not go on the computer for all next week. It'll be difficult, worse than a diet. But I'm gonna try. Starting Monday.
Hahahaha! I'm roping Neenia into the Facebook phenomenon. It's like world of warcraft for...other people. People who are kidding themselves by thinking they escaped the addiction of world of warcraft.
I'm newly hooked on a site called www.peekvid.com which rocks my world. Check it out when bored.
Wanna have sex.
I love love love wastes of time.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Winter
I'm alone.
I hyped up my fling because it was something to do and now even the fun in the fantasy is gone.
The little girl is being a psycho ho's beast.
I have my period.
I got fat again.
I'm alone.
People aren't supposed to live like this.
I hyped up my fling because it was something to do and now even the fun in the fantasy is gone.
The little girl is being a psycho ho's beast.
I have my period.
I got fat again.
I'm alone.
People aren't supposed to live like this.
Monday, January 15, 2007
FUCK!
Yay! I can join the club now! The My Lovah Read My Blog Club!
Is there a worse post for him to have read? No. He had to read the bragadocious dirty sex details.
It was my English Fling? What was I supposed to do?
This is what he wanted.
Man. If he only knew how much I love him. (My Lovah, that is.) You all know, you should tell him.
I'm a little mean, though. I can't keep the smile off my face! Something worked! Something woke him up to how much he loves me too! It better not go away anytime soon. Or ever. I'm sure a crazy round of "baby, I love you" s will return him to his state of "woo hoo, Alathariel is the best, life is good" non-over the moon-ness. Oh well. Then I'll just fuck a tall dark Frenchman...hahaha.
I know you're reading this baby! I LOVE ONLY YOU. THE SEX WE HAVE IS BETTER THAN ANY SEX ANYONE IS HAVING. NOW I'M THINKING ABOUT IT TOO MUCH AND I'M GOING TO HAVE A HORRIBLE DAY BECAUSE THERE IS NO CHANCE OF SATISFACTION!
Anyway, I figured it all out. I hadn't eaten for 2 days before I got to Kaos. I felt super skinny and hot. That'll do it. Just wait til I get back from one year at the gym! I'll be sexier and in a sexier mood than ever. maybe I should get aids... then I'd be super hot...but then I really shouldn't have sex with my lovah...
Is there a worse post for him to have read? No. He had to read the bragadocious dirty sex details.
It was my English Fling? What was I supposed to do?
This is what he wanted.
Man. If he only knew how much I love him. (My Lovah, that is.) You all know, you should tell him.
I'm a little mean, though. I can't keep the smile off my face! Something worked! Something woke him up to how much he loves me too! It better not go away anytime soon. Or ever. I'm sure a crazy round of "baby, I love you" s will return him to his state of "woo hoo, Alathariel is the best, life is good" non-over the moon-ness. Oh well. Then I'll just fuck a tall dark Frenchman...hahaha.
I know you're reading this baby! I LOVE ONLY YOU. THE SEX WE HAVE IS BETTER THAN ANY SEX ANYONE IS HAVING. NOW I'M THINKING ABOUT IT TOO MUCH AND I'M GOING TO HAVE A HORRIBLE DAY BECAUSE THERE IS NO CHANCE OF SATISFACTION!
Anyway, I figured it all out. I hadn't eaten for 2 days before I got to Kaos. I felt super skinny and hot. That'll do it. Just wait til I get back from one year at the gym! I'll be sexier and in a sexier mood than ever. maybe I should get aids... then I'd be super hot...but then I really shouldn't have sex with my lovah...
Sunday, January 14, 2007
My English Fling
Why oh why did I have to have a one night stand with someone I like and respect? I really like this guy. Dammit. I'm annoyed because it was a PERFECT night. So so so so so amazing. And I know that anything more will ruin it. Because...I'm not supposed to like someone. I'm just allowed to sleep with them. Dammit! This is all my lovah's fault for wanting an open relationship. I don't care. Neither of them live near me, so what the hell does it matter? I'm talking about it and blushing about it for weeks if I want. Nobody can stop me.
Want the details?
Well, he's hot. Like...gorgeous. And cute. and he likes me. He said he usually sends girls down a ladder out his window (jokingly, but I got the idea he doesn't treat other girls with the same respect I got) but he was having so much fun with me and didn't want me to leave the next morning. He likes my teeth. Who in their right mind likes my teeth? He likes me cheeks (both kinds) and he'd pinch my cheek whenever I said something cute. Which was a lot. I'm cute. He knows it. He said I looked a lot better with my clothes off and why did I wear so much that night. He likes music. I played Cake for him and passed some sort of test I could not have otherwise passed, what with not knowing Jack Johnson and stuff. He was enchanted, I think. I was most certainly enchanted. Just the way he adorably rolled his eyes when I stole a kiss. The eyes that said "you're too cute, why does this have to end?" and "you're killing me!"
Want the dirty details?
This guy is a pro. The teasing. The perfect exact amount of teasing that I needed and love and at the time hate in a good way. Man. The perfect amount of talking during sex. Nothing weird, just dirty enough to turn me on even more and just enough communication to make things better but not ruin the mood. Can a one night stand even be that good? He asked me a lot of dirty questions saying I'm probably never gonna see him again so I might as well tell him all my fantasies. So I told him a few and he told me his (all of his involved music and I said "put your fantasy on a stage and we've got a deal") and we acted out what we could. He's...an English gentleman. I found out later that most English gentlemen are the same way. Do you fully know what an English Gentleman is? You'd think it's just politeness, opening doors, carrying heavy things for me...no. The full extent of an English Gentleman is that he didn't even get hard until I was wet. LITERALLY. So once he felt that I was wet, he got hard. LITERALLY. And he was into it, it's not like he wasn't having a good time before that, so you'd think he'd be hard, like, the second he thought about sex, or once he got my top off. Nope. Once he knew I was wet. That's Manners. It's in the core of his very being to put me first. That is HOT.
5 hours. (take that Baseball Knight!) FIVE HOURS of teasing, talking, fucking, laughing. Hot.
I want so badly to be in those 5 hours again. Or the 3 hours before, playing Roxanne or at Kaos with a K.
I've had my English fling and it finished too quickly (though he most certainly did not).
Want the details?
Well, he's hot. Like...gorgeous. And cute. and he likes me. He said he usually sends girls down a ladder out his window (jokingly, but I got the idea he doesn't treat other girls with the same respect I got) but he was having so much fun with me and didn't want me to leave the next morning. He likes my teeth. Who in their right mind likes my teeth? He likes me cheeks (both kinds) and he'd pinch my cheek whenever I said something cute. Which was a lot. I'm cute. He knows it. He said I looked a lot better with my clothes off and why did I wear so much that night. He likes music. I played Cake for him and passed some sort of test I could not have otherwise passed, what with not knowing Jack Johnson and stuff. He was enchanted, I think. I was most certainly enchanted. Just the way he adorably rolled his eyes when I stole a kiss. The eyes that said "you're too cute, why does this have to end?" and "you're killing me!"
Want the dirty details?
This guy is a pro. The teasing. The perfect exact amount of teasing that I needed and love and at the time hate in a good way. Man. The perfect amount of talking during sex. Nothing weird, just dirty enough to turn me on even more and just enough communication to make things better but not ruin the mood. Can a one night stand even be that good? He asked me a lot of dirty questions saying I'm probably never gonna see him again so I might as well tell him all my fantasies. So I told him a few and he told me his (all of his involved music and I said "put your fantasy on a stage and we've got a deal") and we acted out what we could. He's...an English gentleman. I found out later that most English gentlemen are the same way. Do you fully know what an English Gentleman is? You'd think it's just politeness, opening doors, carrying heavy things for me...no. The full extent of an English Gentleman is that he didn't even get hard until I was wet. LITERALLY. So once he felt that I was wet, he got hard. LITERALLY. And he was into it, it's not like he wasn't having a good time before that, so you'd think he'd be hard, like, the second he thought about sex, or once he got my top off. Nope. Once he knew I was wet. That's Manners. It's in the core of his very being to put me first. That is HOT.
5 hours. (take that Baseball Knight!) FIVE HOURS of teasing, talking, fucking, laughing. Hot.
I want so badly to be in those 5 hours again. Or the 3 hours before, playing Roxanne or at Kaos with a K.
I've had my English fling and it finished too quickly (though he most certainly did not).
Saturday, January 13, 2007
My English Adventure
DUUUUUUUDE!!!!! Oh man, I want to tell you all of this from the end to the beginning. Alas, that would be dumb. But just so you know, the end of this is AWESOME.
Okay, so I go to London with practically NO money. The pound can lick me where I bleed. Twice. I met up with my high school friend who I will henceforth call Frenchie. Frenchie and I VERY FANTASMAGORICALLY accidentally met on the same car of the same train by the same door. If you know the London Underground at all, you would know that that is practically impossible.
I digress.
We saw Avenue Q that night. Fucking crazy. Amazing. AMAZING. What else can I say? The talent in that cast is through the roof. I immediately fell in love with the guy who played Trekkie Monster and Nicky. Simon Lipkiss. Really Lipkin, but yeah right. I met him after the show and Frenchie asked me "how many times do you live?" Since the answer was "once" she made me write a little note telling him how talented I thought he was and how I would love to see him in a show again soon then fold it into a paper airplane and throw it to him while he was on the phone by the stage door. hahaha. I totally did it and it was great. He was so nice.
The next day, we got tickets to see Love Song starring Neve Campbell, Cillian Murphy, Kristen Johnston, and Michael McKean. Neve Campbell can take a leaf from the pound's book and lick me twice. What a bitch! I went up to her after the show, encouraged by the niceness of the Avenue Q cast, and said that I loved the show and that I always wanted to meet her because I went to Randolph. She laughed and said "oh really? cool." and walked away. Why the fuck put your name on a school if you're not going to get even a little excited when an alumnus of the school sees you in a show MILES away from your home and compliments you? BITCH. I couldn't believe it. She was probably just upset because she sucked in the show anyway. She would have still sucked in a worse cast, but with those three, especially Cillian, she might as well not have been in it at all. Man she sucked. I plan to slander her name because she's a ho.
That night we saw Phantom, awesome. Of course. Everyone was great. Raoul in particular. Frenchie had never seen it, I had, so I was more excited to see her excitement. She just kept saying "whoa!"
Okay, the in betweens is that I met Frenchie's friend who let us stay at his house and that was great, super nice english gentleman. As were his disgusting flatmates. Boys are gross. British boys can totally get away with it.
Also, I needed some sexual. I CRAVED IT. This waned a little the second day and a little more the third when we went back to Frenchie's res in South Hampton. And we had no money. Literally, I was left with 4 pounds, having not eaten a lot (but my soul was finally full). The plan was we were going to go to everyone's favourite club called Kaos. With a K. haha. The drinks there are dirt cheap, everyone kept telling me. So I was psyched to get smashed with Englishmen. ...boys.
It had been a mild day, we saw some beautiful historic stuff, but my mood was low, I was upset I had no money. Anyway, Frenchie and I went to Frienchie's boyfriend's house to pre-drink with his flatmates (I love saying that). We played Roxanne. Ever played that? Put on Roxanne by the Police and drink every time they say Roxanne. Thank the lord for Roxanne. I immediately felt awesome. Nauseous, but awesome. Wearing my red party dress gave me the confidence I needed to body talk the hottest of the flatmates. He insisted I kept an English accent for the rest of the night because he liked mine better than the girls he saw every day.
A note about this boy--tallest person you'll ever meet. cutest eyes. amazing smile. beautiful. hot. witty. hot. funny. hot.
So he buys me a drink the second we get there and it's an hour long chase. I seemed to be chasing him, but I was drunk, so I didn't seem to mind. But I wasn't too drunk that I made a fool of myself. Frenchie got the drunkest the fastest and asked him if he liked me and he said he definately wanted me. NICE. So finally, I ask him when he's gonna kiss me and he said "when you say something that shocks me. Something dangerous or--" and I just kissed him. I grabbd him by the neck and kissed him hard. And after drinking, dancing, kissing, hot comments, kissing, ass grabbing, we go back to the boys' house and have sex until dawn.
There will be plenty of details to come, but can I just say now that I am so so so so so so satisfied and happy. Wow. Wow. Wow.
Okay, so I go to London with practically NO money. The pound can lick me where I bleed. Twice. I met up with my high school friend who I will henceforth call Frenchie. Frenchie and I VERY FANTASMAGORICALLY accidentally met on the same car of the same train by the same door. If you know the London Underground at all, you would know that that is practically impossible.
I digress.
We saw Avenue Q that night. Fucking crazy. Amazing. AMAZING. What else can I say? The talent in that cast is through the roof. I immediately fell in love with the guy who played Trekkie Monster and Nicky. Simon Lipkiss. Really Lipkin, but yeah right. I met him after the show and Frenchie asked me "how many times do you live?" Since the answer was "once" she made me write a little note telling him how talented I thought he was and how I would love to see him in a show again soon then fold it into a paper airplane and throw it to him while he was on the phone by the stage door. hahaha. I totally did it and it was great. He was so nice.
The next day, we got tickets to see Love Song starring Neve Campbell, Cillian Murphy, Kristen Johnston, and Michael McKean. Neve Campbell can take a leaf from the pound's book and lick me twice. What a bitch! I went up to her after the show, encouraged by the niceness of the Avenue Q cast, and said that I loved the show and that I always wanted to meet her because I went to Randolph. She laughed and said "oh really? cool." and walked away. Why the fuck put your name on a school if you're not going to get even a little excited when an alumnus of the school sees you in a show MILES away from your home and compliments you? BITCH. I couldn't believe it. She was probably just upset because she sucked in the show anyway. She would have still sucked in a worse cast, but with those three, especially Cillian, she might as well not have been in it at all. Man she sucked. I plan to slander her name because she's a ho.
That night we saw Phantom, awesome. Of course. Everyone was great. Raoul in particular. Frenchie had never seen it, I had, so I was more excited to see her excitement. She just kept saying "whoa!"
Okay, the in betweens is that I met Frenchie's friend who let us stay at his house and that was great, super nice english gentleman. As were his disgusting flatmates. Boys are gross. British boys can totally get away with it.
Also, I needed some sexual. I CRAVED IT. This waned a little the second day and a little more the third when we went back to Frenchie's res in South Hampton. And we had no money. Literally, I was left with 4 pounds, having not eaten a lot (but my soul was finally full). The plan was we were going to go to everyone's favourite club called Kaos. With a K. haha. The drinks there are dirt cheap, everyone kept telling me. So I was psyched to get smashed with Englishmen. ...boys.
It had been a mild day, we saw some beautiful historic stuff, but my mood was low, I was upset I had no money. Anyway, Frenchie and I went to Frienchie's boyfriend's house to pre-drink with his flatmates (I love saying that). We played Roxanne. Ever played that? Put on Roxanne by the Police and drink every time they say Roxanne. Thank the lord for Roxanne. I immediately felt awesome. Nauseous, but awesome. Wearing my red party dress gave me the confidence I needed to body talk the hottest of the flatmates. He insisted I kept an English accent for the rest of the night because he liked mine better than the girls he saw every day.
A note about this boy--tallest person you'll ever meet. cutest eyes. amazing smile. beautiful. hot. witty. hot. funny. hot.
So he buys me a drink the second we get there and it's an hour long chase. I seemed to be chasing him, but I was drunk, so I didn't seem to mind. But I wasn't too drunk that I made a fool of myself. Frenchie got the drunkest the fastest and asked him if he liked me and he said he definately wanted me. NICE. So finally, I ask him when he's gonna kiss me and he said "when you say something that shocks me. Something dangerous or--" and I just kissed him. I grabbd him by the neck and kissed him hard. And after drinking, dancing, kissing, hot comments, kissing, ass grabbing, we go back to the boys' house and have sex until dawn.
There will be plenty of details to come, but can I just say now that I am so so so so so so satisfied and happy. Wow. Wow. Wow.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Turn Up the WTF
okay. cyber sex. what do we think? phone sex?
sex with lovah only good when having it.
not good when thinking about it.
not good before.
no fingers brushing, no talking.
no cheek caressing.
love and trust and comfort.
i am what i hate--cliche. conventional. normal.
want to be called beautiful.
want to enchant. love to enchant.
enchanted all summer.
fell in love with the unenchantable.
his word.
i've been told 'I just want to take you!'
that turns me on.
i've been told 'oh god I want you so bad!'
that turns me on (in spite of the error).
i've been called beautiful. i've been wooed, given gifts, given flowers, massages, looks.
if i spoke french better, if i were a little braver, i'd be having it all again.
sex with lovah only good when having it.
not good when thinking about it.
not good before.
no fingers brushing, no talking.
no cheek caressing.
love and trust and comfort.
i am what i hate--cliche. conventional. normal.
want to be called beautiful.
want to enchant. love to enchant.
enchanted all summer.
fell in love with the unenchantable.
his word.
i've been told 'I just want to take you!'
that turns me on.
i've been told 'oh god I want you so bad!'
that turns me on (in spite of the error).
i've been called beautiful. i've been wooed, given gifts, given flowers, massages, looks.
if i spoke french better, if i were a little braver, i'd be having it all again.
Dam you Jane Austen
I enjoy the act of falling in love...
These words, said once by a good friend going from one love to another, were fresh in my mind this morning. I had just dreamed that I was out with a group of people who seemed to be my new friends and I was slowly falling in love with one tall, handsome, young man. We all sat down on the couch together at the same time and my pinky brushed against his. We then spent the rest of the night trying to do that again. I awoke giddy.
I miss that so so much. The giddiness, the fingers brushing. The hand holding. The anticipation. The chase. The wondering. I don't think I'm the first person to realise the wonder of courtship (sorry, I just watched Pride and Prejudice). But I guess I did forget how marvelous it can be. It sucks though when dreams are the ones to show you what you've been missing.
I just miss human contact.
These words, said once by a good friend going from one love to another, were fresh in my mind this morning. I had just dreamed that I was out with a group of people who seemed to be my new friends and I was slowly falling in love with one tall, handsome, young man. We all sat down on the couch together at the same time and my pinky brushed against his. We then spent the rest of the night trying to do that again. I awoke giddy.
I miss that so so much. The giddiness, the fingers brushing. The hand holding. The anticipation. The chase. The wondering. I don't think I'm the first person to realise the wonder of courtship (sorry, I just watched Pride and Prejudice). But I guess I did forget how marvelous it can be. It sucks though when dreams are the ones to show you what you've been missing.
I just miss human contact.
Friday, January 05, 2007
I Wanna Play!
I wanna write my resolutions too!
okay
1. To be like the Wizard of Oz and find a brain, a heart, courage and, by the end of the year, home.
2. To take a ga zillion pictures.
3. To keep my room clean.
4. To travel and learn stuff (aka, get out of my room).
5. To finish my book.
6. To look hot (ter).
7. To finish the musical (that my friend and I are writing).
8. To write letters to my friends.
9. To make friends.
10. To be in/do a show. Or, you know, 10 shows.
okay
1. To be like the Wizard of Oz and find a brain, a heart, courage and, by the end of the year, home.
2. To take a ga zillion pictures.
3. To keep my room clean.
4. To travel and learn stuff (aka, get out of my room).
5. To finish my book.
6. To look hot (ter).
7. To finish the musical (that my friend and I are writing).
8. To write letters to my friends.
9. To make friends.
10. To be in/do a show. Or, you know, 10 shows.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
HEY!
Sup, yo? None of you blogged anew. kinda. Bedroom Prince, I guess. and Skinny Rabbit, but not for a while. Now I don't feel so bad.
Oh yeah. Please buy, rent, steal, download, borrow or whatever the movie "Dave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure." It's so cool. That's all I can say. He told me not to tell you anymore. Please don't read any synopses. I hate when people ruin stuff.
Oh yeah. Please buy, rent, steal, download, borrow or whatever the movie "Dave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure." It's so cool. That's all I can say. He told me not to tell you anymore. Please don't read any synopses. I hate when people ruin stuff.
Don't Hate Me!
I'm sorry. It's been too long, but I was having too much fun in real life to blog. Oddly enough, with all the fun comes almost no stories. Just fun. So that's why no blog.
But I do love you.
Oh wait, there is one story--I spent New Year's in London! Woo Hoo! We just missed the fireworks. We were so close. The sky lit up beautifully, but we didn't know why. It was so fun.
I love London. I need to live there after I live here. I'm seeing (hopefully) 4 shows in 2 days next week. I'm gonna barf with excitement. If I'm lucky, I'll see: Avenue Q, Little Shop of Horrors, and a Shakespeare or two. The girl I'm staying with (an old friend who's doing school there) loves straight plays so we have to compromise (I like straight plays, too, but I know musicals...) and see a couple of each.
I'm back in Sion now, but I have a great feeling about it. I feel better now that I was a big baby for 6 weeks. When I went home and had nothing impressive to show for it, it got me excited to come back and ...I dunno, live?
I'm gonna read and comment on your news now.
Happy New Year!
But I do love you.
Oh wait, there is one story--I spent New Year's in London! Woo Hoo! We just missed the fireworks. We were so close. The sky lit up beautifully, but we didn't know why. It was so fun.
I love London. I need to live there after I live here. I'm seeing (hopefully) 4 shows in 2 days next week. I'm gonna barf with excitement. If I'm lucky, I'll see: Avenue Q, Little Shop of Horrors, and a Shakespeare or two. The girl I'm staying with (an old friend who's doing school there) loves straight plays so we have to compromise (I like straight plays, too, but I know musicals...) and see a couple of each.
I'm back in Sion now, but I have a great feeling about it. I feel better now that I was a big baby for 6 weeks. When I went home and had nothing impressive to show for it, it got me excited to come back and ...I dunno, live?
I'm gonna read and comment on your news now.
Happy New Year!
Friday, December 15, 2006
OW!
Are you trying to hurt me?
Don't tell me you all have lives and that's why you're not blogging.
I've done my part. I commented on all of your newest posts (twice, some of you), I updated both of mine, and I am entertaining and I love you. (that's my part.) I don't even have a computer. Qu'est-ce fuck is your excuse.
Missing you is worse when I have to e-miss you too.
Ease my pain, friends.
Don't tell me you all have lives and that's why you're not blogging.
I've done my part. I commented on all of your newest posts (twice, some of you), I updated both of mine, and I am entertaining and I love you. (that's my part.) I don't even have a computer. Qu'est-ce fuck is your excuse.
Missing you is worse when I have to e-miss you too.
Ease my pain, friends.
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