Last Night's Drunken Haikus

I am courageous
Now that I'm super wasted
In this bar in Sion.

I can write alone
And hope that someone comes up
To talk to me soon.

I now have a date
With a twenty year old boy
Next Samdi at eight.

I dream of Gavin
And the perfect friday night
We had at Kaos.

Roxanne plus quad vod
Equals good times had by all
Ending in great sex.

My jealous lovah
Can just lick me where I bleed twice.
I need fantasies.

My poor stomach hurts
Because I just had raclette
And these drinks are cold.

I just can't believe
I'm at a bar in Europe
Haikuing alone

This DJ is lame.
Is he playing Dancing Queen?
I want to punch him.

Why do I fall for
Skinny little bartenders?
He is glad I tipped.

I cannot go home
Until it is twelve thirty.
Otherwise I'm lame

Already, I'm lame
Because I'm sitting alone
Writing in a bar.

Why am I writing
Drunken Haikus in a bar?
Surprise, it's easy.

I love being drunk.
This is just what I wanted.
I dream you are here.

"You" can be either
My Lovah or Englishman.
I'll take either one.

I talk to Lovah
By phone every single night.
I never see him.

My hot English Fling
Was over far too quickly.
Wish it was last week.

I like being drunk;
Nothing matters anymore.
That is comforting.

One guy looks at me
Then another and one more.
What is it with Sion?

No one comes to talk?
I am a young hot woman!
COME AND TALK TO ME!

They welcome me here
But they are not welcoming.
They make me so sad.

Billy Jean is on.
How come no one is dancing?
There is no dance floor.

So so so so drunk.
I like it this way baby!
An excuse to smile.

And now I'm dancing
With the funny bartenders
One of which is cute.

The nicest one said
"Karaoke est sympa!
Merci, a dimanche!"