The Devil Wears H&M

Just to kinda copy Skinny Rabbit, I went shopping! At H&M! I got a new coat! It's black and it has princess shoulders. And I got a new hat, it's wide brimmed and black as well. And I got new black gloves and a new black shirt and a new black bra. Apparently, I like that colour.

But really, it's good because I can wear whatever colour scarf and it'll change my look. Right now I have a red scarf that my lovah bought me. He has a matching one.

Aaah! I have to start thinking about packing! That's gonna be a tough job.

A Night's Tale is on. How do I feel about this movie? I can't tell.
It makes me want to be in that time. But the movies that clean up the horrible world that was the past always make me want to live then.

Have you seen The Devil Wears Prada? It gave me an eating disorder, but it was good.

That's all.

Jet Plane

my bags aren't packed
I'm not ready to go
I need some time
need one more show
I hate to wake you up to say I'm scared

the dawn has broken
it's almost noon
the tickets are booked
I'm leaving soon
already I'm so lonesome I could die

The Rage!

Sometimes I get so angry that my blood boils. My hands really do ball into fists and my nails dig into my skin.

My reaction? I want to write a letter.

Canadians really are pussies.

Show me the Beast!

Can I just say how jealous I am of Skinny-Rabbit and especially Miss Pants? What an amazing story they get to portray! I'm watching the movie now with two feverish children. I don't think they're as enchanted as I or the castle.

I love the very beginning with the music and the narrator. I love "Little town..." I love the blond whores. I love "Oh no!" "Oh Yes!" "Oh no!" "Oh yes!" I love love love the library more than anything in this world. I love when Cogsworth finally goes crazy and stabs a guy in the butt. I love when Belle comes back for the Beast and that saves him. I love when Gaston says "Did you honestly think she'd want you when she could have someone like me?" in that funny voice. I love when Belle's hair finally comes down in the rain and she looks really hot. I love when magical light shines out through the beast. I love when Belle gazes into the nameless prince's human eyes and says "it is you!"

"It is a miracle!"

Zoom out from the beautiful stainglass window of the lovahs dancing and cue Celine Dion.

What a great way to spend a sick day.

Excitement Strikes Again

Dammit!
Baseball Knight talked to me on msn last night and was saying dirty funny things. Typical. But then he asked if we could see each other before I go. I thought there was a hint of "sleep together" before I go, but I wasn't sure. then I "brb"'d him and and when I got back it said "And this time I promise it will last A LOT longer than last time" "I wasn't in a good place in Pennsylvania..." "I'm very happy with my life and who I am now" "...hello?"
And I was like "ah!" But he was offline.

So I wrote him an email saying I wasn't ignoring him, I'm glad he's happy now and I'm looking forward to seeing him again.

Isn't it funny to promise that it will last a lot longer this time? What are we, in high school? I feel like I'm slumming it with the immature. And I like it.

"Yes please Mrs. Adams!"

Then I had sex dreams about him all night. I don't get me. I love my lovah more than anything. the sex is amazing. AMAZING. never wanting anything. We have passionate, exciting, fun, loving, funny, unique, sexy sex.

Yet immature baseball knight really excites me! Why? I don't need him!

Oh well. I'm looking forward to living out last night's dreams (and for it not to live up to them).

Plug

Argh. All thoughts and no internet make Alathariel a dull girl.

All greens and no chocolate make Alathariel go crazy.

I've started the soup diet.

My head hurts, I hate celery now, I hate green beens more than ever and all I want, ALL I WANT IS TWO CHEESEBURGERS FROM MCDONALDS!

But The Mermaids have recorded their first album: Radiant in Ribbons

Please go to their release party: The Undescribable Unveiling

Also, please attend: The Forlorn Farewell to say goodbye to Alathariel for a year.

They are one in the same event, though one makes you cry while the other makes you dance. (I hope the Unveiling is the one that makes you dance...)

Tequila Sunrise. 212 Adelaide. 10:00

Be there or be square.

Just

I do it to myself.

But I get some things done! I do! My list is almost complete! It's just the second most important thing I haven't done yet.

I just read an old (drunken) journal entry where I promised myself that things would be different. Well, I lied. I am in a disfunctional, dishonest relationship with myself and it's probably going to get worse.

But...I'm sure it'll all work out in the end. I'm cocky that way.

nostalgia

I wish I could go back to college
In college you know who you are
You sit in the quad
and you think "oh my god,
I am totally gonna go far!"

What a silly concept to ask "who am I?"

but I do. because I don't know sometimes.
I think I do know but I cloud it because I don't want to hurt other people's feelings.
I lose track.

How do I go back to college?
I don't know who I am anymore!
I wish I had taken more pictures...

And put them in a pretty scrapbook to look at at times like these.

Not So Wise

I am trying to learn the language of the world as they say in "The Alchemist."
I don't know how to do that while there are things to do and responsibilities to ...see through.

There's a part in the book where a boy goes to a wise man to learn the path to happiness or the meaning of life or something. When he gets to the wise man's castle, it is bustling and the wise man is talking to many other travelors and advisors and what have you. It takes two hours for the wise man to get to the boy and then he says "I have no time right now to tell you about the meaning of life, but feel free to look around my castle at all the wonderful things I have. I need you to hold on to this spoonful of special oil while you do so and don't drop any." So the boy goes all around the castle for 2 hours, his eyes never leaving the spoonful of oil. When he returns to the wise man, the wise man asks if the boy saw all of his prized possessions. The boy is embarrassed saying he was only focusing on the oil. The wise man told him to enjoy himself around the castle for the next two hours. So he did. And when he got back, the wise man was pleased to hear how much the boy loved all of his wonders but was quick to point out that he had spilled the oil. He said "all I can tell you about the meaning of life is this: find happiness in the things around you, but do not forget about the oil."

What the hell does that mean? I mean, I think I know what it means, but that's like, hard.

In any case, read the Alchemist, I'm enjoying it.