The Skinny Dress

Did everyone hear about the party last night? The location? My vagina. The guests? English Gentleman's penis.

I'm kind of in heaven right now.

He didn't know I was coming even though my status on facebook said "I'm so excited about Southampton." Apparantly, facebook doesn't mean as much to some people as it does to me.

I was silently (not always silently but I did my best) freaking out all day yesterday. I went to the Isle of Wight in classic English weather and froze to death, enjoyed the incredibly lovely views, drank a couple pints of cider, had adventures, the usual. Then Frenchie and I went back to her place and ate garlic bread and watched the new Scrubs. Then we found out where we were meeting everybody and I put on my unstoppable orange dress (the one you love, Skinny!) and we were on our way. We ended up going to Frenchies's lovah's slash English Gentleman's house (incidentally, everyone who lives at Milton Manor is an English Gentleman but I'm only concerned with mine at the moment) where Frenchie's lovah was getting ready. Almost immediately, EG walked by--in his boxers, just to hurt me--and was just giving a casual hello to Frenchie and saying he didn't want to go out when he spotted me and did a double take. As conversation was going on, I looked at him with my "if you kiss me it will change your life" look which works every time. Combined with my unstoppable dress, I don't know why I was so nervous! So we went to have drinks, blah blah blah, we discussed funny things like tumbleweeds, blah blah blah, I got a little tipsy, blah blah, and then we ran back to Milton Manor in the pissing rain. Oh my god, I can't believe I almost forgot! Frenchie and her lovah, the drunker ones of the party, ran way ahead, and EG just suddenly stopped and pulled me to him and kissed me really really well. In the rain. Fantasy scenario, check! Then we kept going hand in hand. Wow. So by this point I was completely on fire, even though I was drowning in the rain.!
We got back to the house, watched a bit of a show called Peep Show (watch it. watch it now, it's brilliant.) and EG just...went up to his room! Now Frenchie wasn't feeling very well, so I could tell she just wanted to stay with her lovah, but...ahgh! What was I supposed to do? Just go ask EG if I could spend the night? I pretty much did. When I went up to his room, he was playing his guitar (HOT) and he immediately handed it to me and said "what are you going to play for me?" And I said, I only have the one good song, and he said "okay." So I played Cake for him and he played a few things, then I said "Sooo...Frenchie's cold and ill..." and he said "Do you want to stay? No problem." And then we proceeded to have the BEST SEX EVER.

By the by, if my boy is reading this, will you please calm down? First of all, you're not supposed to be reading it because you said you wouldn't. Second, when I say best, I mean best with him in this situation in England. Chill the fuck out. Fucking propose or something if you don't want me having good sex. With other people, that is.

After AWESOME sex, we kissed and talked and cuddled and wonderfullness ensued. He called me a "kiss hungry chick" haha. Guys, he's so gorgeous...I was just so happy to be with him! I kept giggling. And he loved that, because I'm so adorable and hot at the same time. It's a skill I have. I'm a child and a woman at once. He said something about how sleeping with someone is different than waking up with someone. I agreed. He had to work today, so this morning we had sweet sex again and made him late for work. I said "may I be so bold as to ask if I can stay here again tonight?" He said "you may be so bold. You'll recieve a reply via email with a fancy letterhead." And I said "like 'we regret to inform you'?" And he said "yes, or 'congratulations!'" To witch I replied with laughter to witch he replied with kissing and so it goes...

Now I'm sitting alone in his room, using his computer without permission, wating for Frenchie and her lovah to wake up and take me to Oxford. Also waiting for my vagina transplant so that I can be ready for tonight should I get the "congratulations" email. The problem is, I've already worn my orange dress...