Five Spoons Full of Sugar

Okay, I feel better now. My heart is fine. I think everything is back to normal.

I think I was mostly hurt because I thought of him as home and now I feel homeless. But he's just as screwed up as everyone else. I know how he really feels and I know he doesn't want to hurt me and I'm going to try not to be so hormonal. Not that I didn't have completely ligitimate fuel for my raging hormones, but it's clearer now, and not worth the tears.

I LOVE spring! I'm so sorry for everyone who is living in the cold right now, but I couldn't be higher! I'm pretty sure it's magical here, the sky is so freaking blue every single day! Like the crazy kind of blue that looks fake, like it can't possibly be the actual colour of something in this world. I don't know how many people know that I used to get freaked out by a blue sky (if the stuff around me is the same stuff up there, how come the stuff up there is so blue and the stuff down here isn't? and why doesn't the blue cover airplanes? Think about that.) but I'd be absolutely nuts all the time if I didn't try to get over it.

I got dressed up and went out last night (the first non freezing night!) to a wine bar. It was devine! I wore my red and white polka dot dress, I read and wrote and my waiter was from Quebec! He bought me my third glass (the glass that secured my drunken state) of a wine he suggested, I forget the name of it, it's a spanish white wine and it's very sweet. Delicous! I left him my number on the bill because he called me pretty. Plus he had nice arms. I'm not usually an arm girl. That is, I don't think about arms until I feel good ones, or until they're on display but not stupidly on display know what I mean? I hope he calls, I need to get laid.

I've been planning my new room (?) at my next house and it's gonna be almost totally purple, so it's good that no boys will be living in it. I gotta go purple while I still can. Just like I gotta stay out all night, drink too much, experiment, sleep around, explore and live it up as much as possible with as many friends as possible while I'm young. I will be married with wonderful children in a wonderful house one day, but now is not the time!

I'm gonna go get a kebab and then go a chocolate muffin and then go visit a new friend in Vevey.