My English Adventure

DUUUUUUUDE!!!!! Oh man, I want to tell you all of this from the end to the beginning. Alas, that would be dumb. But just so you know, the end of this is AWESOME.

Okay, so I go to London with practically NO money. The pound can lick me where I bleed. Twice. I met up with my high school friend who I will henceforth call Frenchie. Frenchie and I VERY FANTASMAGORICALLY accidentally met on the same car of the same train by the same door. If you know the London Underground at all, you would know that that is practically impossible.

I digress.

We saw Avenue Q that night. Fucking crazy. Amazing. AMAZING. What else can I say? The talent in that cast is through the roof. I immediately fell in love with the guy who played Trekkie Monster and Nicky. Simon Lipkiss. Really Lipkin, but yeah right. I met him after the show and Frenchie asked me "how many times do you live?" Since the answer was "once" she made me write a little note telling him how talented I thought he was and how I would love to see him in a show again soon then fold it into a paper airplane and throw it to him while he was on the phone by the stage door. hahaha. I totally did it and it was great. He was so nice.

The next day, we got tickets to see Love Song starring Neve Campbell, Cillian Murphy, Kristen Johnston, and Michael McKean. Neve Campbell can take a leaf from the pound's book and lick me twice. What a bitch! I went up to her after the show, encouraged by the niceness of the Avenue Q cast, and said that I loved the show and that I always wanted to meet her because I went to Randolph. She laughed and said "oh really? cool." and walked away. Why the fuck put your name on a school if you're not going to get even a little excited when an alumnus of the school sees you in a show MILES away from your home and compliments you? BITCH. I couldn't believe it. She was probably just upset because she sucked in the show anyway. She would have still sucked in a worse cast, but with those three, especially Cillian, she might as well not have been in it at all. Man she sucked. I plan to slander her name because she's a ho.

That night we saw Phantom, awesome. Of course. Everyone was great. Raoul in particular. Frenchie had never seen it, I had, so I was more excited to see her excitement. She just kept saying "whoa!"

Okay, the in betweens is that I met Frenchie's friend who let us stay at his house and that was great, super nice english gentleman. As were his disgusting flatmates. Boys are gross. British boys can totally get away with it.

Also, I needed some sexual. I CRAVED IT. This waned a little the second day and a little more the third when we went back to Frenchie's res in South Hampton. And we had no money. Literally, I was left with 4 pounds, having not eaten a lot (but my soul was finally full). The plan was we were going to go to everyone's favourite club called Kaos. With a K. haha. The drinks there are dirt cheap, everyone kept telling me. So I was psyched to get smashed with Englishmen. ...boys.

It had been a mild day, we saw some beautiful historic stuff, but my mood was low, I was upset I had no money. Anyway, Frenchie and I went to Frienchie's boyfriend's house to pre-drink with his flatmates (I love saying that). We played Roxanne. Ever played that? Put on Roxanne by the Police and drink every time they say Roxanne. Thank the lord for Roxanne. I immediately felt awesome. Nauseous, but awesome. Wearing my red party dress gave me the confidence I needed to body talk the hottest of the flatmates. He insisted I kept an English accent for the rest of the night because he liked mine better than the girls he saw every day.

A note about this boy--tallest person you'll ever meet. cutest eyes. amazing smile. beautiful. hot. witty. hot. funny. hot.

So he buys me a drink the second we get there and it's an hour long chase. I seemed to be chasing him, but I was drunk, so I didn't seem to mind. But I wasn't too drunk that I made a fool of myself. Frenchie got the drunkest the fastest and asked him if he liked me and he said he definately wanted me. NICE. So finally, I ask him when he's gonna kiss me and he said "when you say something that shocks me. Something dangerous or--" and I just kissed him. I grabbd him by the neck and kissed him hard. And after drinking, dancing, kissing, hot comments, kissing, ass grabbing, we go back to the boys' house and have sex until dawn.

There will be plenty of details to come, but can I just say now that I am so so so so so so satisfied and happy. Wow. Wow. Wow.