My hair looks pretty.

I'm about to go to Lazer Quest with my cousins who I haven't seen in a while which is totally exciting! Woo hoo!

I just had sex with my lovah and it was totally great! So great. Every time we have sex, it's better than the last! But I feel a little insecure. I have cellulite on my tummy. It sucks. But I owe the gym much more money than I have so I can't go there...so I have to do sit ups myself.

I'm kinda wishing my lovah was more romantic, but as baseball hottie said when I was being particularly girly: "don't; you're too pretty."

Which makes me want to mind fuck other people.

One of my new Penn Renn Friends seems to have a crush on me. Or at least he seemed to. In fact, we had a little something something playing chicken and he said some really dirty things via text messages which kinda turned me on. I didn't really care for him much except as a friend (very much as a friend) and he started to creep me out in the sexual category. Then he found someone else there and seems to really like her. Like, they might do the long distance thing. But--and this is what makes me a bitch--I really liked being liked, even if he couldn't have me. I'm pissed off that he found someone else. Like he LIKED me. He told me! I miss the looks and the poems (you can get away with cheesy poems at a renaissance faire) and the CONSTANT COMPLIMENTS.

There was someone else who complimented me a lot. The guy who played the Sheriff, with whom my character was in love. IHis character was supposed to not like me and not notice that I liked him. It's weird what acting can do to you. I spent seven weekends chasing this guy who, in reality, I'm not attracted to AT ALL! And I still have the urgent NEED for him to notice me! I miss the compliments I got out of character and the usual eventual fulfillment I got at the end of the day in character. He proposed to me twice, and we hooked up 3 times and I kissed him a couple of times, too! It was so much fun. And in real life, he felt the need to tell me how hard it is for him to not notice me all day because I'm so hot and my body type is his favourite, and I'm so pretty and so sweet...

My lovah loves me. But he's no actor. He's not a theatre person at all. He'll never show me the way I want him to show me. Plus, you know, he has me! What does he have to do? I love him just the way he is, and I'll never love anyone like I love him. I've just been spoiled recently, I'm used to being hit on.

Aww, he's playing piano again. Oh man, it's so beautiful.

That's love and romance enough for me.

I'm just a needy, spoiled, self-conscious, confused, hormonal, scared, slightly manic depressive, girly girl.

I've been blog/journal happy these days.
I love writing and reading!

Can someone buy me Phantom by Terry Goodkind?? I want it!!

Also, the Tin Princess by Philip Pullman.

Also, if you haven't read His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman, there's something seriously wrong with you. read it now. the first one is called "the Golden Compass."

Gonna go kick some Lazer ass!