Fucking Boys

If you shower with your boyfriend, your breasts will be so clean, so clean! I mean shiny.
--Sarah Silverman

So here is the latest (penultimate, in fact) installment of my penn renn advenntures:

I daydreamed myself into real dreamhood about hot, sexual excursions with hottie baseball knight all the way to Pennsylvania.

After we checked in to the hotel, I bounced around the halls looking for him and everyone else, all my pent up energy exploding in giggles and frolicking. I found out a bunch of the early birds had gone to see pirates 2 without the rest of us. I was shocked and appalled at their exclusive behaviour as was my pretend sister who swore loudly at them upon their arrival.

So hottie baseball knight interrupted a conversation I was having with his best girlfriend and said "Alathariel, can I volunteer you?" and held up a bottle of aloe. He had the sunburn from hell. It was a hell burn.

I aloed him up and gave him a few "hi" kisses when his buddy came in asking about his stupid laptop and hardwaresoftwarevideogamemousecursorguitar. So I left and put my pj's on...pj's being a hot lingerie nightgown...

As we (all three of us) were getting sleepy watching Chris Farley's biography, the very kind third wheel said "I'm gonna go get some cash from the ATM and a snack." And he left.

So, obviously, we started making out. Just started. Not one minute into it, he asks if I want him to fuck me. And just for the record, he'd only be fucking me if he were on top or in any position other than on his back--he wasn't on top, I was. So not five minutes into me fucking him, he's ready to finish. And I had just found out how bigger could potentially be used as better! Done like dinner. He makes a joke about the very kind third wheel and turns the volume back up on Chris Farley. Goodnight?

I didn't realise that guys were really like that! Man am I spoiled with my lovah!

The next morning, my roommate (who I don't actually share a room with) found 12 dollars under her bed just as hottie baseball knight walked in and he said: "sweet, that's better than sex!" and she said "who have you been sleeping with?" and he said "absofuckinglutely nobody, that's the problem! That's why it's better than sex!" Knife to the back, thank you very much! Now, I know we shouldn't just talk about it with everyone, but we are officially the worst kept secret in Renaissance Faire history! I think the only person who doesn't know that is him!

That day, I found out that he had gotten in a fight with his best girlfriend the day before. There is something between them that is too complicated to get into, but the point is, he was using me for spite! Now, it was understood that we were using each other, but for fun, not for spite or vengence!

So the next night, he had injured himself somehow in the day and was acting like a big baby. I did sleep next to him, but he elbowed me all night (by accident--or so he says) and we lay as far apart as possible in the same bed. Shitty shitty cold cold night. And a great day friend- and faire-wise but shitty and cold for baseball knights.

So I decided I will no longer let him have the goods. He was lying when he said he liked me alot (his spelling, not mine) and I haven't had any proper excitement with him for weeks. He used to make me shiver all over! Now he bores and upsets me.

I got home to my lovah this morning. I remembered that I reward good boyfriendship with almost unlimited access to my breasts and my lovah was redeeming that reward with relish. Man that gets boring sometimes. After wearing really tight corsets for long enough, you lose proper feeling in them anyway. So just as I was thinking that all boys must be jerks, he moved down and gave me the best orgasm I've had in a really long time. The release was so amazing, the feeling so cathartic, that I cried. That never happened before. I didn't want him to see that I was crying because, though it was about a lot of things, mostly money, I was also crying about the coldness of the coldie baseball knight. Then, while I showered, I sang Wicked really hard and cried a little more. Now I've had chinese food and I feel better.

I'm gonna listen to some (secret pop) music and reread all of your blogs. Then I'll go to my fellow mermaid's house and do arts and crafts.

I can't wait to read more about your adventures as they are a part of mine!