Bi-Polar Again

Helping the kids out of their coats
But wait the babies haven't been born
Unpacking the bags and setting up
And planting lilacs and buttercups

But in the meantime I've got it hard
Second floor living without a yard
It may be years until the day
My dreams will match up with my pay
--Feist


I'm watching Home Improvement right now. Is it wrong that I still think Randy Taylor aka JTT is super duper hot and I wanna be on the show?

I'm not very happy. The fact that the world seems to value only money makes me less than worthless. That doesn't feel good.

My lovah's parents say that my ability to smile in the face of such hardship is a good quality. They also say it's a bit manic depressive. I don't think they're right on either account. I think I'm not manic depressive and I think that it's unhealthy to be happy when I'm not happy. Especially because it's my fault I'm unhappy. It's my fault I didn't live with my mom for a year after school to pay off my debt. It's my fault I didn't work for a year before school to save up for it. There are a lot of should haves.

On the other hand, I don't value money as much as the world seems to. I don't care for it at all. So that's why I usually find myself happy when I am so in debt. I do find myself happy, don't I? Alright. I have plenty of things in my life that I happen to love more than I'll ever like money.

Manic enough?

It doesn't matter though, I'm going to Switzerland for a whole year and I'll be making money without spending any. Except, of course, to buy a quill and ink and stationery with witch to stay in touch with loved ones.

In other news, a bunch of renn friends went to karaoke a couple days ago when I was working. Baseball Hottie brought his "girlfriend." That's in quotes because I think it's lame when someone becomes your "girlfriend" just because you ask them. I kind of expected it because Whore (aka his best girl friend) mentioned something about him mentioning something about having a "girlfriend as of monday." Why are boys losers? Anyway, she was the most boring looking person ever. I'm horrible. I shouldn't even care. I just want the things he said to have been true. And I want to be hotter than some random chick I don't know who's having my mediocre sex.

What a whiny boring blog.

Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gaaaaaal!

There. Entertainment. That's what I do/like best.

I might get to be a nanny here from now until I leave! That would be awesome. It would be for a one year old girl which is so cool!

I can't wait til I have a little girl. Well, I can wait, I have to, but when I do, it'll be spectacular! She'll be spectacular! My little Beatrice... or another name...

My lovah and I are hanging out tonight. I should be counting the minutes we have together.

I got a man to stick it out
And make a home from a rented house
And we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done
--Feist