Why am I a server? It doesn't make me happy. A friend just said "I still can't picture you bartending..." you know why? Because I'M NOT A BARTENDER! I'm not meant for it. I don't want to get you your drink. I kinda think you should stop drinking! I know you're not gonna tip me, and if you do, I'm sucking up for money! that's not cool! do you have to suck up for a loonie? no! you have a billion people working under you, you never do a thing and you get paid millions!
I don't like that!
I don't like being the one making your life better through tequila shots.
I want my life being made better. Can't I help people? Can't I do what I love for money? and then use that money to help people? and then lie on a beach somewhere?
I guess I'll be doing one of the things I love for money when I go to Switzerland. Okay, I'm okay. My life is interesting again. The panic recedes.
Oh no, the same friend is surprised that I joined a gym and that I can hold my alcohol! (I'm talking on msn as I write this.) She just said: "I don't know who you are!" I don't know either! If I have to have a joe job, I should be working at a childrens bookstore!
I just realised, I can stay up late now! Where did I go?
lend your voices only to the sound of freedom
no longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from
fill your lives with love and bravery
and you shall lead a life uncommon
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3 comments:
Wow, upon re-read my blog is basically a copycat of yours. I apologize, but I totally had the exact same thoughts. But here's a question: Why don't you apply at a children's bookstore?
break free of the "all actors are waitresses" and vice versa bullshit mentality. you are not a waitress. you are an artist. and yes, practicality needs you to have a "joe job". but instead of having a "joe - momma sucks ass" job, go get a "joe - fucking fabulous" job that doesn't squash your beautiful artists soul. it's scary to take the risk - but you can do it!! i'm doing it now - i'm currently broke as hell, but it's going to be okay, and i feel free as a bird... just like leonard skinnard.
well, here's the deal. I get attatched to people even if I don't want to. these guys have taken me in like family and now I feel like I'm their family! so I have to stay. It's the customers I hate. It's okay. I decided not to care about them.
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